So I’m writing this sipping on a can of Carlsberg after handing in my reflective essay/report thing – Mild celebratory tactics for me after slaving to produce that very annoying piece of course work.
This post shall be following the same reflective stance
Let me set the scene here..
So, Some weeks back I got into this conversation with a female friend of mine, roughly the same age range as myself – early 20’s.
She, Crissy, wanted to know about the thought processes of guys basically. How we think, what we like, how we communicate and all that jazz – I’m guessing she had guy issues at this point.
I thought the whole scenario was a really good one, on two counts anyway. The first being the question and the second because she asked a GUY about advice on guys. – Makes sense asking the mechanic to tell you what’s wrong with the car.
At that moment I was pretty much stumped, but I was honest and told her I don’t know how guys communicate. It wouldn’t make sense if I sat there and painted guys as heroes that are always open, that would be a lie. They are still, and will always be passive aggressive meandering man boys out there generally.
I’d like to think (as well as all dudes) I am this complex, deep in thought, aloof, philosophical individual guy, yet I and my male brethren still find ourselves in week long conversations about whether or not we’d do a girl that didn’t have a nose.
Yeah, I know..hah
Soo after pondering on the whole thing I came up some generic pieces of advice for her on what all dudes like, I just told her what I like from girls, and its really a few simple things.
1) Learn how to cook and cook
Sounds so stereotypical but I do not mean it in a sexist way, so calm down. For some weird reason nowadays making your guy (or a guy you fancy) a meal or something is seen as the most degrading thing you can do yet these same females want guys to hold the doors open for them and buy drinks for them when we’re out ?
Sounds simple enough right, but as I always say, us guys are very simple, and by simple I don’t mean stupid before some you get on your high horse
I remember one weekend a while back, I had my girl over at mine visiting. The Arsenal football match had just started when she went to the kitchen to make me an egg, mayo and bacon sandwich. She brought it to me accompanied with a bottle of Budweiser – King of beers!
And I tell you, it was one of the most beautiful moments of our relationship.
I mean, you do that once in a while and he’ll think “I’ve got a keeper”. My current gains at the moment are directly attributed to the packs she makes each weekend.
2) Don’t be a slob
Guys are naturally inclined to be messy and this is not an excuse. I am messy. And by messy I mean clothes on the floor stuff not the not showering, overgrown hair, body odour, crusty toes messy. That’s just messed up. I’m not looking to discover new diseases with you, why so dirty ? They’re a few that can benefit from walking through a car wash for a quick clean. If his place is messy, tidy that shit, be his organizer. Doing stuff like that automatically puts ahead of 80% of the women we know.
3) Just chill
Men want to be alone, but they don’t want to be by them self. We want you around, on the roof, in the vents, the next room, preferably the kitchen, anywhere but not right in our face with words and stuff.
This is how simple guys are, if you actually every once in s while said “hey, do you want a beer” and you actually got up and went to the fridge to go get it, and actually put it in a frosted glass, personally speaking I’m ready to paint your toes and do all those cuddly girly things. Heck, keep it up and you might eventually get me to watch “the notebook” – And yes, based on the number of rejections I’ve dished out over the years, it is a feat.
Have you ever been in love with a woman and be thinking “Ahh, I love her soo much, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, I want to have a child with her” then I remember she can’t cook and go…”nehh, on her titties instead, allow that” – hah, I can’t be the only one
On that note, I’m done, I’ve got work in the morning + presents to buy and I tend to get very picky when choosing. Nothing makes any sense.
Anyways, my mate and I are gonna go “Houdini” this girl. – should be fun.