I’m posting this from sunny Seville.
This post’s acting as my notification for my prolonged hiatus from the blog.
I have been here for a while, with my 3 close friends and in truth, its been a ride. Love, hate, deep convos, fights, etc.
It’s been a hell of a ride so far, and in truth, it has been a needed get away as it allowed me to reassess not only my position (internally) but my friends also.
As I have mentioned before, I felt I have not grown spiritually (Mediation, composure, etc.) wise since the last year and a half. I have had people dispute that but this is an area I feel I have not been able to properly improve on due to the rush of final year at university.
This in some essence could be linked to my reactions of late, an issue between Chimi and I escalated, in which “shots” at my girl was taken, and unlike my previous stance as being melancholic/passive, I took the aggressive approach.
After the dust had settled, all I’m hearing is that “You have changed” “I liked the old you”.
Which is not the first time I am hearing this.
I have also been told I have fallen into the “egotistical” and “narcissistic” side, on the basis that I take care of myself and actually care about how my hair (Dreads) and clothes look. This is their terms is a sign I care what people think.
Just a few stuff I’ve been pondering on since last night.
Not put off, not not angry, not upset
It’s not that deep. – My current motto
I get angry, sad, happy, and then I move on
Its not that deep – I think I expect everyone to follow this way of reasoning with me….humm
I was told “not everything has to be about “you” Eric, sometimes you have to sacrifice”
Well, if sacrificing means being in-congruent with my thoughts and feelings, well….
Anyways, I’ve got a book and a cup of coffee with my name on it. The pull from this malboro cigarette and an exhale of carbon-mono-oxide into the Spanish air soothes my soul.
I feel as if after this break, I won’t be lacking in those areas I previously mentioned, as to whether I would revert back…no chance.
So, to follow up my previous post – The Ultimate Team
I thought it’d be good to elaborate on why these guys are my close friends.
It goes beyond growing up together, developing our relationships. The main reason I rate the guys mentioned in my post as members in my team boils down to the fact that we are all aligned with our focus to becoming a fully developed man once our prime comes.
We’re all in our early 20’s, and ideally most men peak between their mid to late 30’s (35 – 40), so we’ve got about 2 decades to reach this goal – God willing.
From the previous post, its pretty evident that we do not share the same personality. On the other hand we all share the same end goal but our standard on values and what makes us feel good are all different.
I classed these guys as main because they want to get good at every aspect of their lives. We do, I know i do, have other friends outside these guys that are also doing well in life but they have not bought into the idea of self development. They have elements that I would like to take on, but they do not represent the ultimate version I would like to become e.g. some are laying numerous amount of girls but flunking exams, some own there own business but are unfit, some have completely accepted themselves but are constantly doing drugs.
With this mind, I look at what I have achieved since I was 16 and look towards what I want to achieve when I am 35 – Becoming a man in my prime. They do not tie into it. I have done good so far. I mean, I know I have, with my my guys, have long left the BETA male sect.
How do I know this ?
In my opinion, if you want to gauge whether you’re a man in your prime (or working towards it) is pretty much, if you have a girl you’ve dated and you dumped her does she stalk you and/or threaten to kill herself.
Think about, any guy you know that’s in the gym, highly intelligent, knows how to act as man, has decent game, well dressed and a decent lifestyle. Just fucking on it. whatever girl he’s dating, the amount of energy she gets of him is insane.
– Fair enough, not every girl will try to commit suicide because of you, but they’re are a few of those girls around.
Reason why this happens is because when you have that much going on, you become such a rare breed that the gap between yourself and the other guys becomes so vast. If you cut her out of your life, there’s not going to be a lot of opportunities for her to replace you, its going to be very very difficult for her to do so.
It might not be your desire to press leverage on the girl, its just a sign that you have spent so much time developing yourself and your value that if you decided to pull that rug from underneath her the value of her life will decrease so rapidly. The quality of her life, her direction, good emotions, etc – will all go *poof* and she’ll end up crazy.
This provides insight into why girls will let their guys date /see multiple girls.
She hates that its happening but at the same time, she tried seeing other guys but he can’t match the amount of value being brought to the table previously.
Its not a money thing, but rather the way I am going to relate to that girl. They way that I am going to have her emotionally.The feeling of safety she is going to feel with me and what I’m going to do to her sexually and physically will just be lethally enrapturing.
Not a lot of guys talk about stuff like this, being honest getting my guys into this mindset also was difficult. But we sat down and just talked, we’re 22 now. If we were to spend a further decade focussing on self development, buy the time we’re 32 we’d be peaking at every level, the amount of value we’d be bringing would be immense.
Our most valued attribute – Our ambition
Our most valued attribute in other people – Good Intentions
Part 2 of the 3 part post.
What’s good people, how are things with you ?
I’m dandy – just to let you know.
Don’t worry, my absence – regarding regular posts – shall soon be reduced.
I’m almost done with my degree, got about 3 weeks left to end this 3 year pursuit of a diploma – Good times.
I can’t wait to pick up on my other hobbies that have been neglected due to the hectic final year schedule I have encountered.
Any ways, with the end of another academic year fast approaching, it signals the beginning of every ones favourite time of the year – I’m indifferent to this usually but seeing as it’ll be my first summer before going into full time work/new venture of any sorts, this one is quite special.
I shall be going on holiday with a few mates. Everything’s sorted, the villa, the lads, the girls. All that’s left are the house party cups and the absurd outfits I will be wearing.
As I mentioned, I’ll be going with my mates – Scratch that, “brothers from another mother”.
With that, its bound to be epic, even though we will be accompanied by our girlfriends.
I have practically grown up with these guys, college and work wise. We all have different personalities but the cohesion between the unit is unique. Plus, the scenarios we tend to get ourselves into…..Man, madness.
I’ll give you a run down of what they’re like using characters from popular TV shows. If you don’t know the characters, well you have some research to do then.
Sam -The Dean Winchester of the group
The typical man’s man. Blunt honesty, slightly cocky, toned physique, macho personality. Basically everything you’d expect from an old school male. Typically a very simple dude with a lot of muscle – The gym motivator of the crew. You know what you get with him; no games, no play, just straight, honest answers which is what he’s loved for.
You need that person around you that’s smack you in the face if you’re messing up. I know for a fact he wouldn’t hesitate to hit me across the head (he has) if I did something stupid (Which I usually do).
On the flip side, he’ll be the same person to do fully support, if not exceed any testosterone driven mission. Drinking his way into stupor just for the hell of it in right up his alley. The team’s real friend.
Chimi – Harvey Spector
You know that friend that is always money concious, like strictly financially driven, yeah, that’s Chimi for you.
If it generally doesn’t revolve around cash inflow you’d hardly see him involved. He bares the same “winning” mentality as Harvey, as well as his dress sense. Suits, ties, smart casual boat shoes, clean low cut hair, all these fall into his outward appearance.
An individual with a large appetite for the finer things in life and an even larger appetite for wealth. He’s pure motivation, he’s the guy that you’d go for if you needed a lecturing on improvement and dedication. Alongside this, his work ethic boarders on madness, I’m talking over 60 hours a week whilst in full time education.
He also possess a strong possessive/authoritative personality which makes him the perfect partner to run game with, as he’s more direct and I’m naturally inclined to run an indirect type of approach. The perfect hype guy all we do is talk each other into doing the most illicit things imaginable just because, which actually end up happening. Everything is a good idea and is achievable, well almost anything (as long as he has bought into it)with that, it becomes a good idea and is achievable. The team’s dreamer.
My self – Hank Moody
I’m the writer of the pack. The philosophical guy. Soft spoken – But not so soft, introverted personality with a logical outlook on things. I’m pretty much the laid back guy of the pack.
Not always around the whole club scene and venues for parties as much but if it is has any sort of worth, I would have been invited. Unlike the other 2, I show little reaction in situations and like Hank, this tends to appear “interesting” to girls so I have been told – I know…weird. Also, like Hank I have a “Karen” also.
I think before doing things most times, even though I go down the path that carries with it a lot of drama – My choices are driven by love. Not too much attention devoted to making money compared to Chimi, or getting overly muscular and macho like Sam, but I do fall into the middle.
That’s a run down of the guys I’ll be spending 2 weeks with.
From previous experiences, I’ll most likely be the one pouring the alcohol into the shot glass in the morning alongside Sam -who shall be topless; whilst Chimi concentrates on lacing up his boat shoes and making sure he looks immaculate before we head out to wreck havoc on the unsuspecting victims of Seville.